# I am the Watcher. I am your guide through this vast new twtiverse.
#
# Usage:
# https://watcher.sour.is/api/plain/users View list of users and latest twt date.
# https://watcher.sour.is/api/plain/twt View all twts.
# https://watcher.sour.is/api/plain/mentions?uri=:uri View all mentions for uri.
# https://watcher.sour.is/api/plain/conv/:hash View all twts for a conversation subject.
#
# Options:
# uri Filter to show a specific users twts.
# offset Start index for quey.
# limit Count of items to return (going back in time).
#
# twt range = 1 3418
# self = https://watcher.sour.is?uri=https://www.synkretie.net/twtxt&offset=2218
# next = https://watcher.sour.is?uri=https://www.synkretie.net/twtxt&offset=2318
# prev = https://watcher.sour.is?uri=https://www.synkretie.net/twtxt&offset=2118
↻↯: "Even those that don't rain are nice. Their winds pull at my surface as if they wanted me to play with them. They never stop trying."
↬~↭: "rocks against your belly, always, new substance coming from above tickling your surface, first alien and cold, soon dissolving in you"
We uplift animals, trees, then stones, lurk the forums of sentient rivers to learn how they experience rain
fractal jellyfish coast through parameter space, assuming forms that bulge outwards, then becoming tangles of stalks
He yawns, a few moths escape from his mouth. He follows them with his gaze, then notices you, startles, looks away sheepishly
also known as time flies, their imagos feed on unnoticed seconds and will for example lurk near engrossed readers, antennae extended
a brass worm writhes lazily where the clock's gears used to be, another priceless artifact destroyed by chronophages
that ambivalent feeling when your pet void has gone missing, but then you find it in your wallet
When you look out of a crystal ball instead of into it, you can see the past - actually that is how eyes work
dig into the pain, dissect and measure it, lose sight of the whole↵↵until there's no more suffering, just neuron spikes and physics
often, his ghost would stand in the river, watching fishes and driftwood swim through where his heart used to be
true loneliness is achieved when even your own thoughts excuse themselves and walk off into the night, leaving only empty space and scraps
This far from the disk, it appears like a cat's pupil in the sun, opening and closing as it spins
an AI trained on ads generating ads for fake products, then bringing into existence those that get the most clicks
Proper destruction of a universe requires just as much skill as its genesis: A careful, respectful untangling of knots to leave no trace
paper architecture, origami houses, blueprints that are folded up into dwellings
a small household robot that does nothing but fix cable messes, likes to rest in your box of obscure cables where it has a nest
A tightrope walker is seen scaling a sunray. Soon, a rope falls from the clouds, finally allowing the king's men to take the cloud castle.
and come mushroom season, we camp under their caps for a few weeks, listen to the rain, trade and dance with the mushes
however, if you need highly concentrated soulstuff, many refineries will gladly let you help dispose of barrels of thaumhazard waste
Another reason you need oil refineries is that crude oil is full of ocean dwellers' ghosts that you don't want to haunt your engines
mechatryoshka battles where with every successful hit, one layer of armor is destroyed and the mechas become weaker but more nimble
Every mecha generation is larger than that before, but cash-strapped as the forces are, they just layer the armor, creating mechatryoshkas
"why are you reading breakup twitter" "uh, acquired taste, but actually you should try nihilistic despair twitter,
social network that lets you search users by emotional state so that you can binge on certain emotions in times of need
Wizards' beds tend to be the least magical things in their towers, full of antimagic to prevent sleepcasting fireballs and nightmares
Other people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use corecursion!"↵Now they have a yak, and a problem.
Some people, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use recursion." Now they have a problem.
One of the clouds is painted in gaudy colors and surrounded by small flying shapes: The airfolk's circus, on its way to the capital.
aliens arrive in thumb-sized spaceships and battle it out with the ants while we watch, bemused
Occasionally, a hurricane will achieve consciousness and notice its reflection in the water. Many die down, trying to smooth the surface.
As the universe expands, so does your neighborhood. Soon, the next house is an hour's walk away and bison herds wake you in the morning.
A dying neon light flickers in the sky, the air fills with alien scents of decomposing physics, graffiti appears on the insides of eggshells
The simulators depart, let reality decay. The paint starts peeling off the sky, drifting down, blue flakes mixing with the cherry blossoms
the ship's bonsai trails behind on a chain, a space suit helmet on its pot protecting it against the vacuum
The colibritross: small enough to dodge raindrops, but never touches the ground. Feeds mainly on krill, carries its chicks in its feathers.
One is a man o' war whose methane bladder keeps it afloat. Its tentacles have become baleens, with which it filters the rain for plankton.
Kilometers below the rim, the rimfall dissolves into heavy rain. A few ocean dwellers have adapted, feeding on what falls off the world.
Have you tried recasting the problem as a meme so that people will reward each other for coming up with novel solutions
Ghosts need to witness the exact opposite of each their memories to move on. They cluster around the healing, the feasting, happy couples,
Despite the myth, he's a gentle fellow, kind to adventurers and would-be rescuers. Yet, only those who abandon him ever see freedom again.
Wherever the Minotaur walks, the labyrinth's walls shift and reconfigure. They may let other people out, but never him.
If you pet them in the right places, they'd purr and open secret passages, crafty people liked to hide stuff in there↵↵It was kinda gross
Back in the day, the pyramids weren't mere skeletons but mountains of flesh watching over the countryside, rivers of hair flowing off them
a hand reaches out of your screen and steals your coffee mug
Her eyes unfocus, face smoothes out into blankness, a complicated mechanism clatters and a different face presses itself into the soft mass
occasionally posting a crustacean and answering confused queries with "they're good spiders murph, look how many legs they have"
a "we rate spiders" account with ratings of x/8
"To complete the ritual, we need a really bloody book. Fortunately, I brought a map of Europe
Ever looked at a map and thought about how many million deaths drew some of those lines↵The Necronomicon is child's play compared to this
The first plants to bloom are the clouds, covering the ground in iceflower pollen. Water fertilized in this way will later grow rainclouds.
slogan: come and buy our NeuroHack / and keep the voices off your back
Settings: inactive / not ruminating / zoned out / coma patient (clinical insomniacs only, prescription req%\█▣▚╣▒▒access granted!
Settings: inactive / not ruminating / zoned out / coma patient (clinical insomniacs only, prescription req%\\█▣▚╣▒▒access granted!\n2017-04-23T00:14:51+02:00\tBrain-computer interfaces able to play back thoughts can consequently cancel others, providing the basis for the Mental Noise Canceller\n2017-04-21T22:56:34+02:00\tAt night, your maidbot often sneaks away. One time, you follow it and find an android coven in a warehouse, chanting in near-ultrasound\n2017-04-21T22:42:01+02:00\tCoinworlders have a turn of phrase, calling things "as likely as ten days", while theologists debate whether the world can land on its edge.\n2017-04-21T19:58:52+02:00\t2050: The young sell their bodies to the old in exchange for lifelong free brain vat accommodation and Internet access\n2017-04-21T16:15:45+02:00\tAt the beginning of each cycle, the gods throw the world coin. The way it lands determines which side gets day and which gets night.\n2017-04-21T00:10:33+02:00\tDo you consent to having your blood vessels mapped by our therapeutic nanobots and uploaded to Google Blood View™ [yes] [n\n2017-04-21T00:05:22+02:00\tEven and odd levels of irony are always easy to distinguish. It becomes harder when you're dealing with levels n, n+2, n+4...\n2017-04-20T02:46:09+02:00\tbest world shapes: cube, disk↵honorable mention: ring, hypertorus↵experimental: coin, hyperbolic↵potato tier: sphere↵redeemed: hollow sphere\n2017-04-19T02:33:29+02:00\tThey cannot sing because they have no breath, but the wind catches in strategically placed holes and plays them like so many flutes\n2017-04-19T02:29:38+02:00\tWhere the Rocs rule, dryads take the form of elegant wooden birds with chlorophyll feathers and will sometimes murmurate above the forest\n2017-04-18T12:56:17+02:00\tnewer keyboards have a clapslock key that when accidentally pressed turns all👏your👏text👏into👏this\n2017-04-16T20:46:30+02:00\tHer sleep rhythm is that of her chaotic homeworld: Awake for weeks to then spontaneously enter hibernation, days often measured in minutes\n2017-04-16T01:30:41+02:00\tAfter years of futile efforts, the progress bar finally breaks through the side and quickly slithers under your files\n2017-04-16T01:22:50+02:00\tAll attempts to stop Godzilla fail, but as he closes in on the city, the skyscrapers part and from their middle steps their champion\n2017-04-14T12:14:34+02:00\tReal humans died out long ago. We are simulacra inserted by alien exosociologists and then forgotten\n2017-04-14T12:07:27+02:00\tLong train ride. The guy across from you is sleeping, growing leaves and vines over his seat. He startles, looks at you, reverts to human.\n2017-04-14T00:29:42+02:00\t2017: Indigenous languages are dying, meanwhile the emoji dialects of even two neighboring slacks are becoming mutually incomprehensible\n2017-04-14T00:01:14+02:00\tThose petrified by the basilisk don't die, only slow down greatly. Around them, civilizations rise and fall, mountains roll like waves\n2017-04-13T02:14:51+02:00\tBack Twitter is pretty good actually. Small, tight-knit community, supported by a handful of well-picked employees. None of the execs know~\n2017-04-13T02:07:50+02:00\tDid you know that you can write on the backs of tweets? Few screens support this though, you'd probably have to take yours apart.\n2017-04-12T01:49:14+02:00\tWhat the makers get out of it is well-tested and working colony designs and colonist communities that have already been seeded in-game\n2017-04-12T01:45:31+02:00\tAn RPG that plays on Mars and you get to keep the plots you develop if you make it there physically\n2017-04-12T01:09:21+02:00\tThe forest's leaves become pink and leathery, veins pulse along the trunks. The canopy is healing shut and the ground twitches where you run\n2017-04-10T01:12:26+02:00\tThe popular game of "the sky is lava and it's falling oh my god\n2017-04-10T00:43:03+02:00\tstranded in your escape capsule, you learn the language of the stars and let alien constellations sing you into sleep\n2017-04-09T14:38:38+02:00\tVolcanoes are the bitemark of the magma flea, an interstellar pest which is a known carrier of life so stay clear of bitten planets\n2017-04-09T03:09:38+02:00\tHaving escaped their pages, many wild books roam history now. Venomous plot threads ensnare the unlucky, turn their lives into narratives.\n2017-04-09T01:02:42+02:00\tthe cold is so fierce, even the stars freeze and fall out of the sky as glowflakes\n2017-04-09T00:50:00+02:00\tThe clock is frozen in the moment the bomb fell, which wouldn't be remarkable if it weren't a sundial\n2017-04-08T18:19:07+02:00\t"as I write this, I feel the spores maturing under my skin. I know it's not going to hurt, but what will I do about my favorite human\n2017-04-08T17:59:29+02:00\tus: "it's infiltrating us! aaaaAAA"↵alien: "ow these are dimensions of pain I didn't know existed, how the hell do you cope, aaaAAAA"\n2017-04-08T17:54:21+02:00\tsetting: the alien is an infectious space fungus that can grow human-shaped fruiting bodies, but we shape it as much as it shapes us\n2017-04-07T03:11:52+02:00\tVisible only as a gap in the Rimfall's spray, a glass walkway extends to the stars.↵The disk recedes, the noise subsides.↵Finally, alone.\n2017-04-06T20:23:53+02:00\tthe class of geometric problems that can be solved by geometric tools constructed with compass and straight edge\n2017-04-06T14:43:04+02:00\twatch out for infrared transmissions. don't freak out. keep in mind: killing a planet with intelligent life on it is a crime. also bad form.\n2017-04-06T14:41:03+02:00\ta bonsai planet likes companionship. get more and add them to the system. happy planets will eventually spawn moons\n2017-04-06T14:40:42+02:00\tCARE AND FEEDING OF BONSAI PLANETS:↵give it a bright light to orbit. a lightbulb will do↵breathe on one and it'll likely catch life. careful\n2017-04-06T04:19:21+02:00\tThe place is decrepit. The lightbulb's cracked and all the light has ended up in a puddle on the floor.\n2017-04-06T04:08:53+02:00\twhen downloading from the fair folk's torrent trackers, be sure to always seed back to 100%\n2017-04-05T21:15:43+02:00\tidea addressed networking, a paradigm under which packets reach their destinations through social network shares and word-of-mouth\n2017-04-04T14:13:55+02:00\tTrust not those who return from faerieland with stories and things of beauty, for they brought nothing to trade but their selves.\n2017-04-04T02:55:49+02:00\tThe alien fleet is still parsecs away but their gods have already arrived, ancient sagas rewrite themselves to accommodate new protagonists\n2017-04-04T02:03:13+02:00\tone of the moths has landed on the candle's flame and miraculously not burned up - the light shrinks, encysts, grows into an ember fruit\n2017-04-03T14:40:33+02:00\tin fact, the powerful are trying to discourage critical thought by pretending that conspiracy theories exist, nobody actually believes in th\n2017-04-03T00:17:38+02:00\tthe protective coating on your keyboard is failing, letters spread up your fingers like a rash\n2017-04-02T16:21:22+02:00\t«hmm azomakh tends to know that kind of stuff»↵"yes I know, I am on three names terms with him"↵«whoa I didn't know he even had that many!»\n2017-04-02T11:44:06+02:00\tmany demons have obscure, lesser-known names for their gentler forms that they'll sometimes give to wizards they trust\n2017-04-02T03:47:46+02:00\tdunbar number but for number of social networks and circles of friends to keep track of\n2017-04-01T04:36:13+02:00\tThe sun sets and it is morning on the Underside. In the vines of the not-falling forest, birds sing, monkeys chirp, tree octopi do whatever.\n2017-03-31T03:09:52+02:00\t"And these are my lucky dice!"↵They feel warm in your hand, in fact their eyes follow you and there is very quiet breathing\n2017-03-31T02:48:25+02:00\tthe sun splits into two, four, differentiates into a god fetus, a web of neurons that envelop the sky in shining axons\n2017-03-31T02:39:02+02:00\tthe plasma whales usually keep to the orbit, but will occasionally dive into the atmosphere to gather mass, trailing fire and ball lightning\n2017-03-31T02:34:16+02:00\tfrom the cloud cover, a shark fin juts downwards\n2017-03-31T01:45:53+02:00\tThey come from wells in the mountains where earth magic leaks to the surface, and the High North where the Aurora Borealis is harnessed\n2017-03-31T01:39:31+02:00\tWood is the best conductor of magic and long rows of trees carry it into our cities, artificial leylines singing with barely contained power\n2017-03-30T23:33:22+02:00\t… fear to browse those places. The rationalist dwarves dug too greedily and too deep. You know what they found on the acausal trade routes\n2017-03-30T23:24:40+02:00\tyoung AIs sharing pictures of messy neural architectures and dissected utility functions to shock each other\n2017-03-30T02:52:15+02:00\tis this what the kids call serendipity https://twitter.com/allgebrah/status/847250082193752065/photo/1\n2017-03-30T02:46:04+02:00\tWith human-level chatbots to keep you company, why stop at running one? Scale up, run a dunbar-sized amount of them! Leave humanity behind!\n2017-03-29T03:04:59+02:00\t"Chris, I think the floating eyeballs creep out the citizens, what if we put them in, like, a huge benevolent face"↵"With a dozen eyes, yes"\n2017-03-29T02:47:31+02:00\tIn an effort to brighten up the cityscape, they now paint colorful irises on their surveillance balloons\n2017-03-27T03:20:01+02:00\tan uninhabited paradise orbits half a black hole, trees grow on ocean waves, confused angels try to sing underwater, circled by dolphins\n2017-03-27T03:19:36+02:00\tnext to the god's workbench, discarded universe strands start to ferment and merge, form an incongruous but fecund mess\n2017-03-27T02:51:16+02:00\tyou crush the egg in your hand and a flock of tiny birds escapes from your fist\n2017-03-27T00:51:49+02:00\tYour eyes refuse to focus when you look at her, it's as if she had punched a hole into spacetime and lay at the bottom, infinitely far away\n2017-03-26T00:56:06+01:00\t2037 tzdata release notes:↵* introduce UTC-68y timezone to accommodate legacy 32bit timestamp devices (power plants, banks, IoT)
Settings: inactive / not ruminating / zoned out / coma patient (clinical insomniacs only, prescription req%\\█▣▚╣▒▒access granted!
Brain-computer interfaces able to play back thoughts can consequently cancel others, providing the basis for the Mental Noise Canceller
At night, your maidbot often sneaks away. One time, you follow it and find an android coven in a warehouse, chanting in near-ultrasound
Coinworlders have a turn of phrase, calling things "as likely as ten days", while theologists debate whether the world can land on its edge.
2050: The young sell their bodies to the old in exchange for lifelong free brain vat accommodation and Internet access
At the beginning of each cycle, the gods throw the world coin. The way it lands determines which side gets day and which gets night.
Do you consent to having your blood vessels mapped by our therapeutic nanobots and uploaded to Google Blood View™ [yes] [n
Even and odd levels of irony are always easy to distinguish. It becomes harder when you're dealing with levels n, n+2, n+4...
best world shapes: cube, disk↵honorable mention: ring, hypertorus↵experimental: coin, hyperbolic↵potato tier: sphere↵redeemed: hollow sphere
They cannot sing because they have no breath, but the wind catches in strategically placed holes and plays them like so many flutes
Where the Rocs rule, dryads take the form of elegant wooden birds with chlorophyll feathers and will sometimes murmurate above the forest
newer keyboards have a clapslock key that when accidentally pressed turns all👏your👏text👏into👏this
Her sleep rhythm is that of her chaotic homeworld: Awake for weeks to then spontaneously enter hibernation, days often measured in minutes
After years of futile efforts, the progress bar finally breaks through the side and quickly slithers under your files
All attempts to stop Godzilla fail, but as he closes in on the city, the skyscrapers part and from their middle steps their champion
Real humans died out long ago. We are simulacra inserted by alien exosociologists and then forgotten
Long train ride. The guy across from you is sleeping, growing leaves and vines over his seat. He startles, looks at you, reverts to human.
2017: Indigenous languages are dying, meanwhile the emoji dialects of even two neighboring slacks are becoming mutually incomprehensible
Those petrified by the basilisk don't die, only slow down greatly. Around them, civilizations rise and fall, mountains roll like waves
Back Twitter is pretty good actually. Small, tight-knit community, supported by a handful of well-picked employees. None of the execs know~~
Did you know that you can write on the backs of tweets? Few screens support this though, you'd probably have to take yours apart.
What the makers get out of it is well-tested and working colony designs and colonist communities that have already been seeded in-game
An RPG that plays on Mars and you get to keep the plots you develop if you make it there physically
The forest's leaves become pink and leathery, veins pulse along the trunks. The canopy is healing shut and the ground twitches where you run
The popular game of "the sky is lava and it's falling oh my god
stranded in your escape capsule, you learn the language of the stars and let alien constellations sing you into sleep
Volcanoes are the bitemark of the magma flea, an interstellar pest which is a known carrier of life so stay clear of bitten planets
Having escaped their pages, many wild books roam history now. Venomous plot threads ensnare the unlucky, turn their lives into narratives.
the cold is so fierce, even the stars freeze and fall out of the sky as glowflakes
The clock is frozen in the moment the bomb fell, which wouldn't be remarkable if it weren't a sundial
"as I write this, I feel the spores maturing under my skin. I know it's not going to hurt, but what will I do about my favorite human
us: "it's infiltrating us! aaaaAAA"↵alien: "ow these are dimensions of pain I didn't know existed, how the hell do you cope, aaaAAAA"
setting: the alien is an infectious space fungus that can grow human-shaped fruiting bodies, but we shape it as much as it shapes us
Visible only as a gap in the Rimfall's spray, a glass walkway extends to the stars.↵The disk recedes, the noise subsides.↵Finally, alone.
the class of geometric problems that can be solved by geometric tools constructed with compass and straight edge
watch out for infrared transmissions. don't freak out. keep in mind: killing a planet with intelligent life on it is a crime. also bad form.
a bonsai planet likes companionship. get more and add them to the system. happy planets will eventually spawn moons
CARE AND FEEDING OF BONSAI PLANETS:↵give it a bright light to orbit. a lightbulb will do↵breathe on one and it'll likely catch life. careful
The place is decrepit. The lightbulb's cracked and all the light has ended up in a puddle on the floor.
when downloading from the fair folk's torrent trackers, be sure to always seed back to 100%
idea addressed networking, a paradigm under which packets reach their destinations through social network shares and word-of-mouth
Trust not those who return from faerieland with stories and things of beauty, for they brought nothing to trade but their selves.
The alien fleet is still parsecs away but their gods have already arrived, ancient sagas rewrite themselves to accommodate new protagonists
one of the moths has landed on the candle's flame and miraculously not burned up - the light shrinks, encysts, grows into an ember fruit
in fact, the powerful are trying to discourage critical thought by pretending that conspiracy theories exist, nobody actually believes in th
the protective coating on your keyboard is failing, letters spread up your fingers like a rash