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We can ask the Earl for his order once he's fully extruded from the dispenser. ⌘ Read more
Frazzled scientists are requesting that everyone please stop generating hypotheses for a little bit while they work through the backlog. ⌘ Read more
Other high scorers are melt-in-your-hand aluminum-destroying gallium and tritium-powered glowsticks. Lawn darts are toward the other end. ⌘ Read more
The worst is the Terrible Twos, when they're always throwing things and shrieking, "forsooth, to bed thou shalt not take me, cur!" ⌘ Read more
Arguably, the '1/2' in the drag equation is purely decorative, since drag coefficients are already unitless and could just as easily be half as big. Some derivations give more justification for the extra 1/2 than others, but one textbook just calls it 'a traditional tribute to Euler and Bernoulli.' ⌘ Read more
Each SCAPDFATIAT point increases the chance that the process will involve the phrase 'by the next business day.' ⌘ Read more
RIP the surface of Mars ⌘ Read more
I always felt like what the 'you are now aware of your tongue' thing neeeded in order to be truly enjoyable was an element of mortal peril. ⌘ Read more
Neither group uses iso 8601 because the big-endian enthusiasts were all at the meeting 20 years ago. ⌘ Read more
Novel ideas and cool explosions are both good, but what I really want from a movie is novel ideas ABOUT cool explosions. ⌘ Read more
You can find a perfect correlation if you just control for the residual. ⌘ Read more
Update: Santa has been destroyed by the range safety officer. ⌘ Read more
A solid red area with two white lines means that you have been infected with the anti-coronavirus, COVID+19, which will cure anyone you have close contact with. ⌘ Read more
This plan may sound appealing to people who know a little about the immune system, but the drawbacks are clear to people who know a lot about the immune system and also to people who don't know anything about it. ⌘ Read more
Thanks to the ForcedEntry exploit, your company's entire tech stack can now be hosted out of a PDF you texted to someone. ⌘ Read more
It's 10:34 PM for this user. They really need to get going, they have a thing early tomorrow. Are you sure you want to notify? ⌘ Read more
In addition to having all their budgets in a spreadsheet with consistent formatting, they just love expressing preferences on a well-calibrated numerical scale. ⌘ Read more
Increasing-precision timestamps are the Jaws theme of incident reports. ⌘ Read more
Biology is really struggling; they're barely at 93% and they keep finding more ants. ⌘ Read more
Mark Zuckerberg has only neutral feelings toward Peppa Pig, who he understands is a fictional character, and he blames the coronavirus pandemic on other factors. ⌘ Read more
Each one contains a chocolate shaped like a famous spacecraft and, for the later numbers, a pamphlet on managing anxiety. ⌘ Read more
Every time IERS adds or removes a leap second, they send me a birthday cake out of superstition. ⌘ Read more
Hm, this burger place has a couple of good reviews, but LakeSlayer7 says he got food poisoning there and everyone should try this other place down by the lake instead. ⌘ Read more
Directions from CITY OF TROY to ITHACA / Total time: 10y 54d 14h 25m / Warning: Route crosses an international border / route includes capture by the goddess Calypso / route includes a ferry ⌘ Read more
The real challenge is how to file Boba Fett's biography of Doris Kearns Goodwin. ⌘ Read more
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![Was this your car? [looping 'image loading' animation]](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/heart_stopping_texts.png) ⌘ Read more
Even if you said you were an employee of the website, if you asked for my password, I'd tell you. ⌘ Read more
Could be worse. In some towns north of here, it's already December, and the 21st will last for nearly a week. ⌘ Read more
Oh no, Murphy just picked up the razor. ⌘ Read more
Tomorrow's sessions will be entirely devoted to sewing machine rotary hooks. ⌘ Read more
Premed: "Does this count for a physics credit? Can we shorten the string so I can get it done faster? And can we do one where it hits me in the face? I gotta do a thing for first aid training right after." ⌘ Read more
Although grad students, suddenly reminded that food exists, tend to just grab and devour both without further discussion. ⌘ Read more
This year, our team took home the dark blue ribbon, better than the midnight blue we got last year but still short of the winning navy blue. ⌘ Read more
This was always going to be a controversial Wirecutter post, but what really got them in trouble were their 'budget' and 'upgrade' picks. ⌘ Read more
"It's not an influenza, but the onset has notes of the '09 H1N1 strain." "Ah yes, that was a good year for H1N1." ⌘ Read more
Hard to believe that for so many years once they were fully extended we just let them tip over. ⌘ Read more
"What? I can't hear--" "What? I said, are you sure--" "CAN YOU PLEASE SPEAK--" ⌘ Read more
![CVS's pharmacies are fine, but I much prefer their [censored]s.](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/censored_vaccine_card.png) ⌘ Read more
You think, 'okay, THIS is an ideal use case for hardlinks!' but then 6 months later you're doing some extremely cursed Google search like 'javascript ext4' and wondering where things went wrong. ⌘ Read more
We don't need to do a clinical trial of this change because the standard of care is to adopt new ideas without doing clinical trials. ⌘ Read more
After decades of studying the curve and the procedure that generates it, the consensus explanation is "it's just like that." ⌘ Read more
Delaware hopes to explore the western edge of areas marked with the Belgian flag, once the tornadoes die down. ⌘ Read more
They've endowed a separate prize in Physiology or Medicine or Stopping Dr. Adams. ⌘ Read more
It's like one teraspoon / when all you need is a kilonife ⌘ Read more
I know the etiquette is controversial, but I think it's rude when the person in front of me reclines their seat into the bell of my trumpet. ⌘ Read more
It's a myth that the Great Wall of China is the only human-made structure visible from space--there are LOTS of structures for us to feel self-conscious about! ⌘ Read more
The list includes polio, Guinea worm, and this one particular enterovirus strain that they've been tracking out of spite after it went around the lab a few years ago. ⌘ Read more
The bruises on my fingertips are my proof of work. ⌘ Read more
"9 out of 10 dentists have banned me from their offices." ⌘ Read more
"röntgen" and "rem" are 20th-century physics terms that mean "no trespassing." ⌘ Read more
"The slope will be 74° at ground level." "Okay, I think we can hack together a ... wait, why did they specify ground level? It's 74° everywhere, right? ... Oh no, there's a whole section in the treaty labeled 'curvature.'" ⌘ Read more
Anna Karenina is a happy family lumper and unhappy family splitter. ⌘ Read more
I'm so glad NASA let you take your phone to Mars! ⌘ Read more
Oh, wait, I might've had it set to kph instead of mph. But that would make the discrepancy even wider! ⌘ Read more
Honestly feel a little sheepish about the amount of time and effort I spent confirming "yes, the vaccine helps protect people from getting sick and dying" but I guess everyone needs a hobby. ⌘ Read more
I've been working on chocolate bar annealing techniques to try to produce the perfect laser s'more. Maybe don't mention that on the grant application though. ⌘ Read more
Sorry, in SI units that's "there's a big football in there." ⌘ Read more
And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together, but then more heaven kept appearing to replace it, as if the scroll was infinite. ⌘ Read more
We've almost finished constructing the piña collider. ⌘ Read more
I tried to train an AI to repair my Python environment but it kept giving up and deleting itself. ⌘ Read more
Geometry textbooks always try to trick you by adding decorative stripes and dotted lines. ⌘ Read more
Some personal news: After treating my first case a few years ago with antibiotics, I can report that I have now had appendicitis for the second and--unless something extremely unexpected happened with the surgery--final time. ⌘ Read more
Ultra-Serial Violet C light is unpolarized, so you don't have to flip the polarizing filter over when you get the orientation wrong the first time. ⌘ Read more
This is something we all need to work on, but especially you all. ⌘ Read more
Unless the next line is, "After we broke up, she blamed the painting and spent years planning her revenge, so my sorrow is mixed with relief that the dogs at least denied her that triumph." ⌘ Read more
Grandma's shelf-stable blackberry pie meson recipe was a huge seller until her farm was shut down by a joint FDA/NRC investigation. ⌘ Read more
Backward-compatible with many existing cables, and can connect directly to phones or tablets if you press them down hard enough. ⌘ Read more
I'm hoping 2022 is relatively normal because I don't know what symbol comes after the asterisk and the dagger. ⌘ Read more
How could anyone consider themselves a well-rounded adult without a basic understanding of silicate geochemistry? Silicates are everywhere! It's hard to throw a rock without throwing one! ⌘ Read more
I was really impressed by the accuracy of some of the report's predictions about fossil fuel consumption. Then I realized, oh, right, of course. ⌘ Read more