It's okay, we can just feed the one-pixel image into an AI upscaler and recover the original image, or at least one that's just as cool. ⌘ Read more
It's okay, we can just feed the one-pixel image into an AI upscaler and recover the original image, or at least one that's just as cool. ⌘ Read more
It's been extra bad ever since my GPS got stuck on Phoebe Judge mode. ⌘ Read more
Now I'm tempted to start telling people that I secretly don't actually know how to do any physics calculations, and so all the answers in What If are based on me actually trying to do the thing and then reporting what happened, but phrased as if it's hypothetical. ⌘ Read more
Another option: "It is an honor to be the first human to set foot on the moon." ⌘ Read more
To that stranger on the KOOL Tree House chat room, I gotta hand it to you: You were, ultimately, not wrong. ⌘ Read more
In Universe Pro®™ the laws of physics remain unchanged under time reversal, to maintain backward compatibility. ⌘ Read more
Juraaaassic Park, Juraaaassic Park, God shed his grace on theeeee ⌘ Read more
'Why did you get into fluid dynamics?' 'Well, SOME planet has to have the coolest clouds, odds are it's not ours, and rockets are slow.' ⌘ Read more
Ground-pole-ball-pole can be fun if you shake the first pole to get the second one whipping around dangerously, but the ball at the joint gets torn apart pretty fast. ⌘ Read more
In general, avoid exposure to any temperatures, pressures, particle energies, or states of matter that physicists think are neat. ⌘ Read more
If you reach 122, you get complete unrevertible editorial control over Jeanne Calment's Wikipedia article. ⌘ Read more
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NEGATIVE REVIEWS MENTION: Unreliable internet. POSITIVE REVIEWS MENTION: Unreliable internet. ⌘ Read more
Theoretical physicist: At the Planck length, uncountably many. ⌘ Read more
![Pronouncing [ṡṡċċḣḣẇẇȧȧ] is easy; you just say it like the 'x' in 'fire'.](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/complex_vowels.png) ⌘ Read more
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'Does the substance feel weird to the touch?' is equally likely to get the answers 'Don't be ridiculous, you would never put your hand near a sample. We have safety protocols.' and 'Yeah, and it tastes AWFUL.' ⌘ Read more
Ants have reverse chemtrails--regular citizens spraying chemicals everywhere they go to control the government. ⌘ Read more
"My parents were both omnitaurs, which is how I got interested in recombination," said the normal human. ⌘ Read more
Our work has produced great answers. Now someone just needs to figure out which questions they go with. ⌘ Read more
You can still do powerline networking, but the bitrate does drop a little depending on the lightbulb warmup and cooldown delay. ⌘ Read more
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I got banned from the county fair for handing out Helium-2 balloons. Apparently the instant massive plasma explosions violated some local ordinance or something. ⌘ Read more
It's hard to believe, but lots of kids these days ONLY know how to buy prepackaged molecules. ⌘ Read more
![[As security is dragging me away] "Come on, at least I didn't make the mistake in the other direction!"](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/capri_suns.png) ⌘ Read more
My liege, we were able to follow the ship into Minkowski space, but now they've jumped to Hilbert space and they could honestly be anywhere. ⌘ Read more
The best camera is the one at L2. ⌘ Read more
![[other side] If the first word of an instruction you're given starts with the same letter as your crush's name, for that step imagine the experimenter is your crush.](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/fmri_billboard.png) ⌘ Read more
These neutrinos were freshly produced by a local source just 8 minutes ago ⌘ Read more
See how the smoke obscures things so you don't see the approaching tornado until the firework streamers start to swirl right before the lightning hits the launcher. Thank God Cousin Ed was filming in slow motion. And, uh, that no one was hurt. ⌘ Read more
It's sad seeing those videos of turbine blade being torn apart in high winds, but it's the only way they can disperse their seeds. ⌘ Read more
The math and philosophy people also claim everything, but the astronomers argue that the stuff they study really only comprises a small number of paper surfaces. ⌘ Read more
It's nice how the end of the periodic table is flush with the edge these days, so I think we should agree no one should find any new elements after #118 unless they discover a whole row at once. ⌘ Read more
With most labs, the hushed horror stories are about something like dimethylmercury or prions, but occasionally you'll get a weird lab where it's about the soda machine or the drop ceiling. ⌘ Read more
100he100k out th1s 1nno5at4e str1ng en100o501ng 15e been 500e5e50op1ng! 1t's 6rtua100y perfe100t! ...hang on, what's a "virtuacy"? ⌘ Read more
If you don't end the 99 Bottles of Beer recursion at N=0 it just becomes The Other Song That Never Ends. ⌘ Read more
Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they should, they didn't stop to think if they could. ⌘ Read more
Some organization has been paying to keep this up and it hasn't been removed from search results. Seems like two votes of confidence to me. ⌘ Read more
Employment statistics have to correct for the fact that the Weird Bug Hotline hires on a bunch of extra temporary staff every 17 years. ⌘ Read more
"Ow! One of the petri dishes I left on the tower railing fell and hit me on the head! Hey, that gives me an idea..." ⌘ Read more
They said after I got into a routine, I'd enjoy getting progressively stronger and stop whining so much about how hard exercise was. Well, they were half right! ⌘ Read more
It's believed to be related to the Stellar Sea Cow. ⌘ Read more
Oh yeah, I didn't even know they renamed it the Willis Tower in 2009, because I know a normal amount about skyscrapers. ⌘ Read more
I can't speak for your other subjects, but MY motion was as smooth and natural as the framerate allowed. ⌘ Read more
An x-ray gyroscope is used to determine exactly which toppings they included in the pita. ⌘ Read more
They're robust against quantum attacks because it's hard to make a quantum system that large. ⌘ Read more
The combination croquet set/10-lane pool can also be used for some varieties of foosball and Skee-Ball. ⌘ Read more
Also, they're getting increasingly worried that someone will accidentally hit the 'retract' button, and that the end of the cable thrashing around as it winds up could devastate the Earth's surface. ⌘ Read more
The film is set in 2018, but when Commander Bremberly chases the hologram through Times Square, there's a billboard for Avengers: Age of Ultron. Depending on the date, that billboard would have been advertising either Infinity War or this movie. ⌘ Read more
Thank you to Katie Mack for teaching me about this effect, and to Janelle Shane for describing redshifts as 'like galaxies sinking into a pool of dilute blood,' which is how I'll see them from now on. ⌘ Read more
Oh sure, I know Keira Knightly, from the first movie in that series by The Land Before Time producer. You know, the franchise with the guy from Jurassic Park and Ghostwriter, and script work by Billie Lourd's mom? ⌘ Read more
Donate now to help us find a cure for causality. No one should have to suffer through events because of other events. ⌘ Read more
A medicine that makes you put two dots over your letters more often is a diäretic. ⌘ Read more
We carefully sampled the general population and found that most people are familiar with acquiescence bias. ⌘ Read more
OpenStreetMap was always pretty good but is also now *really* good? And Apple Maps's new zoomed-in design in certain cities like NYC and London is just gorgeous. It's cool how there are all these good maps now! ⌘ Read more
Hey! No running in the back-arc basin! ⌘ Read more
!['We're shocked by the Notre Dame fire. Click for our tribute to--' [okay] 'Now that we're all staying at home these past few weeks thanks to this new coronavirus, we--' [okay]](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/welcome_back.png) ⌘ Read more
It's like sigma summation notation, except instead of summing the argument over all values of i, you 2 the argument over all values of 2. ⌘ Read more
The projection's north pole is in a small lake on the island of Mahé in the Seychelles, which is off the top of the map and larger than the rest of the Earth's land area combined. ⌘ Read more
A lot of Jedi romances start with this turning into a Lady and the Tramp spaghetti situation. ⌘ Read more
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Gödel should do an article on which branches of math have the lowest average theorem number. ⌘ Read more
No, we actually do have a woman who's basically part of our fellowship. She lives in Rivendell, you wouldn't know her. ⌘ Read more
Grandma says that because of differences in primate and feline lifespans, the cat is actually my 17,000,000th cousin 14,000,000 times removed. ⌘ Read more
At first I didn't get why they were warning me about all those birds sitting on the wire, but then I understood. ⌘ Read more
U+2A0B ⨋ Mathematicians need to calm down ⌘ Read more
The Taylor series should have been canceled after the first term. ⌘ Read more
The distinction between a ship and a boat is a line drawn in water. ⌘ Read more
The rope keeps breaking, I'm covered in bruises and scrapes, and I've barely reached the end of my driveway, but I don't care--I'm determined to become the first person to commute to work by tetherball. ⌘ Read more
You'd think 'linguistics' would go to someone important in the field, but it's actually assigned to a random student in Ohio who barely graduated and then went into automotive marketing. ⌘ Read more
Happy little turtles ⌘ Read more
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You say this daily walk will reduce my risk of death from cardiovascular disease by 30%, but also increase my risk of death by bear attack by 300%? That's a 280% increased! I'm not a sucker; I'm staying inside. ⌘ Read more
They might make it past that first line of defense. For the second, you'll need some picture frames, a level, and a protractor that can do increments of less than a degree. ⌘ Read more
"We can do 0.33 or 0.34, but our payroll software doesn't allow us to--" "NO DEAL." ⌘ Read more
I know it seems overwhelming, but don't worry; I'm sure most of them have only a few stars, and probably no planets. ⌘ Read more
A blow from Emmy's Cutlass of Variations will transport the dragon to a corresponding symmetric position in the Noetherworld. ⌘ Read more
Now, you may argue that the varying hour lengths and feedback effects would cause chaos. To which I say, yeah, and I'm also curious to see how the weekday cycle interacts with it! So, you in? ⌘ Read more
The foil on the toothpick represents the blue flash. ⌘ Read more
There are two types of dichotomy: False dichotomies, true dichotomies, and surprise trichotomies. ⌘ Read more
Qua qua qua is the sine qua non of sine qua non qua sine qua non. ⌘ Read more
Bald-faced hornets are only a 2 on the Schmidt pain index, so I shouldn't complain. The tennis ball ejected from the dryer exhaust vent could have ricocheted off the nest of a much higher-scoring insect before knocking me off the ladder. Really, I'm lucky. ⌘ Read more
There are regularly placed bumps on the undersde just the right size to press the rocker switch on the power strip. ⌘ Read more
Single-elimination might provide more drama, but I think we can all agree that a comprehensive numerical scoring system will let us better judge the party's winner. ⌘ Read more
For the sake of simplicity, gardeners are assumed to move through Euclidean space--neglecting the distortion from general relativity--unless they are in the vicinity of a Schwarzschild Orchid. ⌘ Read more
If you ever see someone using a capital xi in an equation, just observe them quietly to learn as much as you can before they return to their home planet. ⌘ Read more
I've developed a novel propulsion system powered by loss of precision in unit conversion. ⌘ Read more
Roundly-condemned headlinese initiative shuttered indefinitely. ⌘ Read more
And even though it all went wrong / I'll stand before the lord of song / with nothing on my tongue but 'I don't understand, I swear I backed up my keyboard config before messing with it' ⌘ Read more
It's important to make sure your analysis destroys as much information as it produces. ⌘ Read more
You will live on forever in our hearts, pushing a little extra blood toward our left hands now and then to give them a squeeze. ⌘ Read more
Remember not to take it easy. Put a hot washcloth on your forehead, remain standing, and breathe dry air while taking lots of histamines. You need to give your body a chance to get sick again. ⌘ Read more
Did you base the saucer shape on pop culture depictions of aliens, or was that stuff based on your ships? Does the rotational symmetry help with ... hey, where are you going? ⌘ Read more
Merlin really shouldn't leave his dirt bike lying around. ⌘ Read more
There are two rules on this ship: Never gaze back into the projection abyss, and never touch the red button labeled DYMAXION. ⌘ Read more
Placeble 228 x/6 ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜⬜⬜⬜ ⌘ Read more
CLARIFICATION: By 9/13, I mean September 13th, not the 9th day of Jancember, the cursed 13th month that exists between December and January in the transdimensional temporal plane. ⌘ Read more
I ADMIRE HOW YOU SET BOUNDARIES AND I HOPE YOUR COLLEAGUES RESPECT THEM! PLEASE SPARE MY LIFE! ⌘ Read more
Fine, we can go search the Himalayas for the Yeti ONE more time, but keep a safe altitude over the Pacific and PLEASE watch where you're going. We can't afford another Amelia Earhart incident. ⌘ Read more
ALERT: Human 910-25J-1Q38 has created a Youtube channel. Increase erratic jerkiness of flying by 30% until safely out of range. ⌘ Read more