Using a reflective wall in a game to give one shot two chances to hit is called a double-tapetum lucidum. ⌘ Read more
Using a reflective wall in a game to give one shot two chances to hit is called a double-tapetum lucidum. ⌘ Read more
"The Venn diagram of the sun and the moon is a circle." --someone being snarky at totality ⌘ Read more
Yeah, my math teacher back in high school set up the system to try to teach us something or other, but the 100% rate was unbelievably good, so I engineered a hostile takeover of his bank and now use it to make extra cash on the side. ⌘ Read more
It says to cut the onions into 1/4" slices, but I'd better correct for length contraction. ⌘ Read more
The government has been trying to sell off the Federal Helium Reserve for a few years now, but the sale has been on hold while they try to figure out how to explain this situation to buyers. ⌘ Read more
Gotta go fastescape_speed.png ⌘ Read more
Later renouncing clickbait, Einstein called his inclusion of cosmological content in general relativity the biggest blunder of his career. ⌘ Read more
The E's wedding invitation definitely used the word LOVE more times than was strictly necessary. ⌘ Read more
Even if a planet is lucky enough to have a stable orbit that weaves between the spikes, the seasons get weird whenever it passes close to them. ⌘ Read more
There's a version that shows the planets with no cropping, but it's hard to find a display that supports it. ⌘ Read more
Nowadays the only ones left that do anything are turtles. ⌘ Read more
'Lever' was originally an acronym for Load Emplification by the Vimulated Emission of Radiation. ⌘ Read more
When an Ur guy / sells Nanni things / but the copper's bad, / He simply records his complaint for all time / "I got a bad deal / I'm maaaaad" ⌘ Read more
"Hi, what you do is fly over a designated zone and detach the--" "WE'RE SORRY, THE MOBILE CUSTOMER YOU ARE TRYING TO REACH IS OUT OF SERVICE" ⌘ Read more
'So how DID you go from working at the employment records office to becoming president of MIT and CEO of IBM?' 'I guess I just have an eye for opportunities.' ⌘ Read more
Subgroup analysis is ongoing. ⌘ Read more
Small sewing machines are sewing machines that are smaller than a sewing machine. A sewing machine is larger than a small sewing machine, but quieter than a loud sewing machine. ⌘ Read more
It maintains odor levels in a normal familiar range, so if you open the windows and the air gets too fresh, it filters it through some dirty laundry samples to compensate. ⌘ Read more
The US uses hollowed-out salt domes to store the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, and non-hollowed-out ones to store the Strategic Salt Reserve. ⌘ Read more
My bracket has 76 trombones led by John Philip Sousa facing off against thousands of emperor penguins led by Morgan Freeman. ⌘ Read more
We'll turn the asteroid belt into ball bearings to go between different rings orbiting at different speeds. ⌘ Read more
It's very hard to detect, but recent studies have determined that when plasma B cells are producing antibodies, they go 'pew pew pew' ⌘ Read more
Phil Plait once pointed out that you can calculate the total angular area of the sky this way. If the sky is a sphere with radius 57.3 degrees, then its area is 4*pi*r^2=41,253 square degrees. This makes dimensional analysts SO mad, but you can't argue with results. ⌘ Read more
A lot of these are actually non-venomous, but I can see which species you mistook them for. If you pause the crane for a sec I can give you some ID pointers for next time! ⌘ Read more
"Confirmed, we have to scrub." "Ugh, okay. I'll get the bucket and sponge." ⌘ Read more
As the editor has reportedly defeated Death in a series of games of skill, no further obituaries are expected. ⌘ Read more
I was eventually kicked out of my architectural engineering program because I wouldn't stop referring to HVAC as "the fandom." ⌘ Read more
I know hand dryers have their problems, but I think for fun we should keep egging Dyson on and see if we can get them to make one where the airflow breaks the speed of sound. ⌘ Read more
I always hate dragging around the larger archipelagos, but I appreciate how the Scandanavian peninsula flexes outward to create a snug pocket for the British Isles. ⌘ Read more
"I wish for everything in the world. All the people, money, trees, etc." "Are you SURE you--" "And I want you to put it in my house." ⌘ Read more
I also managed to improve the solution for n=1 to s<0.97, and with some upgrades I think I can hit 0.96. ⌘ Read more
![[exclamation about how cute your cat is] -> [last 4 digits of your cat's chip ID] -> [your cat's full chip ID] -> [a drawing of your cat] -> [photo of your cat] -> [clone of your cat] -> [your actual cat] -> [my better cat]](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/data_quality.png) ⌘ Read more
The Gordian knot is an omniknot tied using every bend in the Ashley Book of Knots, and then for extra security the upper rope at every crossing is connected to the lower with a randomly-chosen hitch. ⌘ Read more
'Pour one out for precipitation data integrity,' I say, solemnly upending the glass into the rain gauge. ⌘ Read more
If you ever want to get beaten up by a bunch of graphic designers, try removing the serifs from Times New Roman and adding them to Comic Sans. ⌘ Read more
3D graphs that don't contact the plane in the closure area may proceed as scheduled, but be alert for possible collisions with 2D graph lines that reach the hole and unexpectedly enter 3D space. ⌘ Read more
There's quark color, but that's not really color--it's just an admission by 20th century physicists that numbers are boring. ⌘ Read more
If you shrank the Solar System to the size of Texas, the Houston metro area would be smaller than a grasshopper in Dallas. ⌘ Read more
If an anatomical structure is named for a person, it means they were the only person to have it. Pierre Paul Broca had a special area of his brain that created powerful magnetic fields, enabling him to do 19th century fMRI research. ⌘ Read more
According to my especially unsupervised K-means clustering algorithm, there are currently about 8 billion types of people in the world. ⌘ Read more
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I'll take mine on the rocks, no ice. ⌘ Read more
I just think lane markers should follow the local magnetic declination. ⌘ Read more
At least there's a general understanding all around that Doctor Who is its own thing. ⌘ Read more
If you think THAT'S unethical, you should see the stuff we approved via our Placebo IRB. ⌘ Read more
Who can forget the early 2010s memes? 'You know you're a 90s kid if you remember the feeling of warm sunlight on your face.' 'Only 90s kids remember the dawn.' ⌘ Read more
I guess the engineers who built my dishwasher MIGHT have some insight into how to load it, but instead of reading the booklet they gave me, it seems easier to experiment for years and then get in arguments so heated that I get banned from Quora. ⌘ Read more
Researchers claim to have synthesized six additional elements in the second row, temporarily named 'pentium' through 'unnilium'. ⌘ Read more
NOTE TO FUTURE ETYMONLINGUISTS: Our best guess is that 'blimp' is onomatopoeia. The 'B-Limp' thing is a folk etymology. ⌘ Read more
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Sorry, I've just always had these random things I don't like--like olives, or robots drilling holes in me without warning. ⌘ Read more
Oops, All Neutrons is also known as Neutral Quadrium, Nydnonen, and Goth Tritium. ⌘ Read more
![[Earlier, at the eye doctor] 'No, for the last time, the numerals on the paper aren't my prescription, it's the shape I want you to make with the laser.'](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/new_years_eve_2023.png) ⌘ Read more
It's difficult to orbit L6 stably due to gravitational perturbation from Akron and Toledo. ⌘ Read more
It's difficult to orbit L6 stably due to gravitational perturbation from Akron and Toledo. ⌘ Read more
One good trick, if you get called on a fake service, is to build a working version of it and mention it again the next week. ⌘ Read more
The presents under the tree are actually a single gift connected by an underground ribbon system. ⌘ Read more
Our investigation into whining-based remedies became the first study to be halted by the IRB on the grounds that the treatment group was 'too annoying.' ⌘ Read more
In general you should only include your single best data point in the paper. The rest of the data can go in the supplementary materials. ⌘ Read more
It's a long way down. ⌘ Read more
If you want to bowl a strike, the optimal place is almost certainly inside a bowling alley, although with a little luck any establishment uphill from one could also work. ⌘ Read more
A hydroelectric dam is also known as a heavy water reactor. ⌘ Read more
The Earth is, on average, located in the habitable zone, but at any given time it has a certain probability of being outside it, which is why life exists on Earth but is mortal. ⌘ Read more
If you ever see the † dagger symbol with no unmatched footnote, it means the writer is saying the phrase while threatening you with a dagger. ⌘ Read more
I adopted a cat that weighs 12 solar masses. Laser pointers love chasing it. ⌘ Read more
Squaring the circle is really easy with some good clamps. ⌘ Read more
![Spacetime Soccer, known outside the United States as '4D Football' is a now-defunct sport. Infamous for referee decisions hinging on inconsistent definitions of simultaneity, it is also known for the disappearance of many top players during... [more]](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/spacetime_soccer.png) ⌘ Read more
It's okay, they can figure out which control positions produce scalding water via a trial-and-error feedback loop with a barely-perceptible 10-second lag. ⌘ Read more
CONFLICT OF INTEREST STATEMENT: The authors hope these results are correct because we all want to be cool people who are good at science. ⌘ Read more
BABIES OR LITERATURE BUT NOT BOTH: Baby shoes ⌘ Read more
Squinting at a graph is fine for getting a rough idea of the answer, but if you want to pretend to know it exactly, you neeed statistics. ⌘ Read more
My password is just every Unicode codepoint concatenated into a single UTF-8 string. ⌘ Read more
Below the Web, and the Dark Web, a shadowy parallel world of Cybiko users trade messages on the Translucent Neon Plastic Web. ⌘ Read more
"Even split between us, this will pay way better than the Jumanji sponsorship I came into the date with." ⌘ Read more
It's taken me 20 years, but I've finally finished rebuilding all my software to use 33-bit signed ints. ⌘ Read more
'Barack Obama is much less likely than the average cat to jump in and out of cardboard boxes for fun' is low precision, but I'm not sure about the accuracy. ⌘ Read more
You might want to bring your frost-sensitive plants in from the patio. The high-level aerosols may result in short-term cooling across the entire backyard. ⌘ Read more
At first I thought I would need some gold or something to pay him, but then I realized that it was the 18th century and I could just bring a roll of aluminum foil. ⌘ Read more
Their 'best philosophy of epistemology' picks are great, but you can tell they're struggling a little in the 'why you should trust us' section. ⌘ Read more
It all came flat-packed in Pandora's Box. ⌘ Read more
WARNING: PEOPLE NAMED EVE ARE PROHIBITED FROM INSTALLING THIS APP! ⌘ Read more
Although I hear they were caught cheating off of Rosalind, who sat at a desk in front of them. ⌘ Read more
Mathematicians quickly determined that it spells ANT BNECN, an unusual theoretical dish which was not successfully cooked until Andrew Wiles made it for breakfast in the 1990s. ⌘ Read more
The theory finally unifies cosmic inflation and regular inflation. ⌘ Read more
Science tip: Scientists hardly ever use the two-dot division sign, and when they do it often doesn't even mean division, but they still get REALLY mad when you repurpose it to write stuff like SALE! ALL SHOES 30÷ OFF! ⌘ Read more
"Sir, it looked really cool." "Oh no--prestige TV. Okay, which of you has a terrible secret that's being slowly revealed to the audience through flashbacks? Just spit it out so we can escape this arc!" ⌘ Read more
"Sorry, doctor, I'm going to have to come in on a different day--I have another appointment that would be really hard to move, in terms of the kinetic energy requirements." ⌘ Read more
I wonder how hard it would be to ride an electric scooter in a hamster ball. ⌘ Read more
The universe fandom is great. Such sweet and enthusiastic people. ⌘ Read more
!["Friction-driven static electrification is familiar and fundamental in daily life, industry, and technology, but its basics have long been unknown and have continually perplexed scientists from ancient Greece to the high-tech era. [...] To date, no single theory can satisfactorily explain this mysterious but fundamental phenomenon." --Eui-Cheol Shin et. al. (2022)](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/easy_or_hard.png) ⌘ Read more
"I've always wanted to run naked through town, but I don't want to get in trouble with the king or be remembered by history as a weirdo. I wonder how I could ... EUREKA!" ⌘ Read more
It's okay, I'm at 10%, so I'm good for another month or two. ⌘ Read more
It's made me way more excited about ferris wheels, subways, car washes, waterslides, and store entrances that have double doors with a divider in the middle. ⌘ Read more
Once the air from the top passes below the plane of the wing and catches sight of the spooky skulls, it panics, which is the cause of turbulent vortices. ⌘ Read more
Our company can be your one-stop shop for decentralization. ⌘ Read more
Evidence suggests the 1899 transactions occurred as part of a global event centered around a deity associated with the lotus flower. ⌘ Read more
CELEBRATE: Serve passengers tiered cakes shaped like the airspace class diagram ⌘ Read more
Someday I just know I'm going to encounter a problem that requires 500 flashlights and 700 knives with weird holes in them, and on that day I won't be caught unprepared. ⌘ Read more
Serve one each to guests whose last cursed cocktail was more than 2 months ago. ⌘ Read more
Don't worry, the dogs are all fine. That's actually kind of the problem. ⌘ Read more