The Piña Colada song carves a trajectory across the chart over the course of the song. ⌘ Read more
The Piña Colada song carves a trajectory across the chart over the course of the song. ⌘ Read more
Why couldn't the amulet have been hidden by Aunt Alice, who understands modern key exchange algorithms? ⌘ Read more
Even with a blank map, a lot of people can only name 45-50 of the 64 states. ⌘ Read more
![It's not just time zones and leap seconds. SI seconds on Earth are slower because of relativity, so there are time standards for space stuff (TCB, TGC) that use faster SI seconds than UTC/Unix time. T2 - T1 = [God doesn't know and the Devil isn't telling.]](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/datetime.png) ⌘ Read more=
For someone who has ostensibly outgrown staying up late waiting for Santa, I do spend an awful lot of time refreshing websites to see if packages are here yet. ⌘ Read more
The phantom found Edward Everett Hale a century too early; by the time we invented satellites, the specifics of his 'brick moon' proposal were dismissed as science fiction. ⌘ Read more
People may complain about readability, but even with jpeg compression, extracting the data points is usually computationally feasible if there aren't too many of them. ⌘ Read more
![And over heeee[...]eeeere (i)s Saturn.](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/space_typography.png) ⌘ Read more
Now that airlines have started adding wheel locks to their drink carts, less than half of flights have one accidentally fall out through the hole. ⌘ Read more
The value of n is still unknown, but new results constrain it to fall between 8 and 10^500, ruling out popular 'n=1' and 'n=2' theories. ⌘ Read more
Unlike an Iron Age collapse, a Bronze Age collapse releases energy, since copper and tin are past the iron peak on the curve of binding energy. ⌘ Read more
Shipping times vary. Same-ocean delivery may only take a few years, but delivery from the Weddell Sea in Antarctica may take multiple decades, and molecules meant for inland seas like the Mediterranean may be returned as undeliverable by surface currents. ⌘ Read more
 ⌘ Read more
The mainstream dogma sparked a wave of dogmatic revisionism, and this revisionist mainstream dogmatism has now given way to a more rematic mainvisionist dogstream. ⌘ Read more
If a materials scientist gives you a present, always ask whether regifting will incur any requirements for Federal paperwork. ⌘ Read more
The problems started with my resolution next year to reject temporal causality. ⌘ Read more
They estimate the rocket should be free by approximately ... uh ... well, in about two hours. ⌘ Read more
So do you have any plans for z=-0.000000000000045? ⌘ Read more
The ball's density also varies, but players don't learn the value until after choosing their raquets. The infamous 'bowling ball table tennis' region of the parameter space often leads to equipment damage. ⌘ Read more
The debate over the correct Messier number for the Ship of Theseus is ongoing. ⌘ Read more
"The police told me I can't be a doctor, but whenever they show up I just go into the Google Maps settings page I found and change the house to 'Police Headquarters' and then they have to do what I say." ⌘ Read more
 ⌘ Read more
Any electrician will warn you to first locate and flip the house's CAUSALITY circuit breaker before touching the CIRCUIT BREAKERS one. ⌘ Read more
These anomalies are known as Miyake events, named for the pioneering scientist who discovered them and was tragically devoured by a carnivorous tree. ⌘ Read more
I average out the spring and fall changes and just set my clocks 39 minutes ahead year-round. ⌘ Read more
The Late Heavy Bombardment was followed a few billion years later by the Comparatively Light but Oddly Specific Bombardment. ⌘ Read more
![Created by the collapse of: [massive stars] [Florida limestone bedrock]](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/black_holes_vs_regular_holes.png) ⌘ Read more
Interpretations of the Hermeneutic Oath differ. ⌘ Read more
Look, I just think we need to stop coddling those hedonistic roundabout hogs who get into the inner lane and circle for hours, wasting valuable capacity. ⌘ Read more
Speed Limit: 45 MPH / Minimum: 65 MPH ⌘ Read more
The Earth's magnetic field is primarily generated by currents in the liquid outer core, though some geophysicists argue that an unexplained mismatch with models suggests that the Kinder toy contains a magnet. ⌘ Read more
My first words were 'These were my first words; what were yours?' ⌘ Read more
Running for office in Minnesota on the single-issue platform 'dig a permanent channel through the Traverse Gap because it will make this map more satisfying.' ⌘ Read more
Ugh, it says they attempted delivery but "Nobody was home." ⌘ Read more
![[after a minute] "Okay, I think I've got it, thanks. Can I--" "oOOOooOOooo!"](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/a_halloween_carol.png) ⌘ Read more
So what do we do when we get to base 10? Do we use A, B, C, etc? No: Numbers larger than about 3.6 million are simply illegal. ⌘ Read more
I've been working my way through this 1950s podcast by someone named John Tolkien called 'Lord of the Rings'--it's a deep dive into this fictional world he created. Good stuff, really bingeable! ⌘ Read more
I was, at least at the start of this disastrous game night, your friend. ⌘ Read more
If they're going to make people ride bikes and scooters in traffic, then it should at LEAST be legal to do the Snow Crash thing where you use a hook-shot-style harpoon to catch free rides from cars. ⌘ Read more
Theranos partnership: Sorry, we know, but we signed the contract back before all the stuff and the lawyers say we can't back out, so just try to keep your finger away from the bottom of the phone. ⌘ Read more
You can leave at any time through the door over there. It's a Louisville door, so you'll need to find a compatible knob. No, don't be silly, that one is a Lexington knob! Of course it won't fit. ⌘ Read more
Our experimental aerogel iceberg with helium pockets manages true 100% efficiency, barely touching the water, and it can even lift off of the surface and fly to more efficiently pursue fleeing hubristic liners. ⌘ Read more
NASA prefers to say that their rovers are 'looking for signs of past life on Mars' and not 'ghost hunting.' ⌘ Read more
Sequoia Brussels sprouts are delicious but it's pretty hard to finish one. ⌘ Read more
It can be expensive to hire a professional spectroscopist for your wedding, but the quality of the spectra you get is worth it. ⌘ Read more
Of course in reality this is just a US/UK thing; in British English, 'fall' is the brief period in between and 'autumn' is the main season. ⌘ Read more
Escape Artist Frees Self From Conversation With Pickup Artist ⌘ Read more
The two best reasons to get into fossils are booping trilobites and getting to say the word "fossiliferous" a lot. ⌘ Read more
Hi all, just replying to loop in *@outlook.com and *@yahoo.com. ⌘ Read more***
Of course you get an ice cream cone for the swimmer too! You're not a monster. ⌘ Read more
An apple fell on Isaac Newton's head and gave him the idea that the moon might be a tasty apple, though this turned out not to be true--the Apollo program eventually determined that it was just a desolate and bland Red Delicious. ⌘ Read more
I pronounce the 'u' in 'pronunciation' like in 'putting' but the 'ou' in 'pronounce' like in 'wound'. ⌘ Read more
A circle with an A in it means that the circuit has committed a sin and has been marked as punishment. ⌘ Read more
They tried to report me to the authorities, but because I had the device they couldn't charge me. ⌘ Read more
The best place to be for a hug eclipse is a scenic natural area with good views and few clouds. The worst place to be is the lunar surface. ⌘ Read more
I'm glad modern car washes use synthetic baleen, instead of harvesting it from whales like 1800s car washes did. ⌘ Read more
 ⌘ Read more
FYI: The 'drop, cover, and hold on' advice only applies to earthquakes. If you encounter a mountain lion, you should absolutely not drop to the ground, crawl under it, and hold on to one of its legs. ⌘ Read more
Getting the utility people to run transmission lines to Earth is expensive, but it will pay for itself in no time. ⌘ Read more
Their crash investigation team had some particularly harsh words for Dave Matthews. ⌘ Read more
The ideal mix for maximum competitive cable-coiling energy is one A/V tech, one rock climber, one sailor, and one topologist. ⌘ Read more
I mean, it's pretty, but it doesn't really affect us beyond that. Except that half the nights aren't really dark, and once or twice a day it makes the oceans flood the coasts. ⌘ Read more
Mr. Jones, watch out for Ms. Lenhart! She's from genus Photuris! ⌘ Read more
Positive vibes/longitudes only ⌘ Read more
The vaccine stuff seems pretty simple. But if you take a closer look at the data, it's still simple, but bigger. And slightly blurry. Might need reading glasses. ⌘ Read more
Refs generally say that you can exercise enough altitude control to avoid the ground, but if you start strategically choosing air layers to steer yourself, that's traveling. ⌘ Read more
The increasing number of graham crackers and chocolate bars in orbit has created a growing risk of Kessler s'mores. ⌘ Read more
 ⌘ Read more
I feel bad for Earth 2 and their shadowflies. ⌘ Read more
I actually kind of feel like John and Surf King wouldn't like each other, which is a lot to unpack. ⌘ Read more
It's just that I get nervous about heights. ⌘ Read more
When I began trying to form a new claim by stitching together these parts in such an unnatural way, some called me mad. ⌘ Read more
They're also refusing to fund my device that demonstrates uncontrolled hot fusion. ⌘ Read more
Slowly progressing from 'how do protons behave in relativistic collisions?' to 'what the heck are protons even doing when they're just sitting there?' ⌘ Read more
Mars does get a good score on 'noise levels' and 'scenic views,' but the school district ranking isn't great; the only teacher--the Perseverance rover--is too busy with rock samples to teach more than the occasional weekend class. ⌘ Read more
You can pour a drink into it while hosting a party, although it's a real pain to fit in the dishwasher afterward. ⌘ Read more
Listen, you're very cute, but if you rearrange the alphabet to put U and I together it will RUIN the spacing! ⌘ Read more
Arboretum Owner Denied Standing in Garden Path Suit on Grounds Grounds Appealing Appealing ⌘ Read more
 ⌘ Read more
 ⌘ Read more
If I'm not going to upgrade to a powered one, I should at LEAST stop leaving the door open so often. ⌘ Read more
Oh no, I haven't checked in with Yvonne in YEARS. ⌘ Read more
In the Hall of the Mountain King was accidentally composed on log/log paper. ⌘ Read more
90% of the iceberg is hidden beneath the water, but that 90% only uses 10% of its brain, so it's really only 9%. ⌘ Read more
![[Decades in the future] "Well, the good news is that we've received definitive communication from aliens. The bad news is that they're asking about Cats (2019)."](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/ufo_evidence.png) ⌘ Read more
I have so many plans. It would incorporate a Galton board, a Ranque-Hilsch marble vortex tube, and a compartment lined with pinball bouncers with a camera-and-servo Maxwell's Demon that separated the balls into fast and slow sides. ⌘ Read more
After a pail of water was thrown on the Wicked Witch of the West outside Salt Lake City, Utah's Great Salt Lake was measured to be 7 parts per trillion witch by volume. ⌘ Read more
We were able to replicate and confirm prior authors' detection of a moon orbiting the Earth with high confidence. ⌘ Read more
I would never stoop to vandalism, but I'm not above discreetly deleting the occasional 'this article contains excessive amounts of detail' tag. ⌘ Read more
Plato made the solids, and five were gifted to the mathematicians. But in secret Plato forged a sixth solid to rule over all the others. ⌘ Read more
The Hubble length is about 1.9 meters lying down; Edwin Hubble was a tall guy. ⌘ Read more
Tau Ceti is farther away, so it took me 36 years to start the war over updog. ⌘ Read more
My connection to it goes way back, to my early days, when I was just a cloud of primordial hydrogen collapsing in the darkness of space. ⌘ Read more
Party Mode also enables the feature, but reverses the slider. ⌘ Read more
They often use ball lenses to collect light at the ends of optical fibers, so when you look stuff up on the internet you're actually scrying through a crystal ball. ⌘ Read more
ADDITIONAL NOTES: Fixed a bug that caused some rocks to generate virtually infinite heat while just sitting there. ⌘ Read more
I don't understand why anyone would pay full price for a flatbed truck rental when you can buy 'DETOUR' signs online for like $10. ⌘ Read more
This rumpled fabric at the corner looks like evidence of ongoing tectonic activity. ⌘ Read more
![[Below] On this site on May 12th, 2023, I finally learned how to use the masonry bit for my drill.](https://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/commemorative_plaque.png) ⌘ Read more
'Your chitin armor is no match for our iron-tipped stingers! Better go hide in your jars!' --common playground taunt ⌘ Read more